Sunday, October 25, 2015

Attempt

Each attempt to sit and work got overshadowed by cleaning things. It sprung from misplaced things-images,notes,diaries,hard drives,pens, and SPACE.
Frustrations escalated and the body cringed inside. There were feelings like-shame,guilt,self hatred. How could I misplace important documents,hard drives? How could carelessness be so engrained? With each loss,there was delay.Delay in production,delay in thoughts,delay in effort. The viscousness was alarming. Deeply successful in trapping oneself in cyclic patterns.
Though the intention was always there to beat the cycle,but it was always greeted by defeat-with its tongue hanging out.
By the time all energies were gathered to produce something,all precious time was spent in finding things and soon it ended with time to make -breakfast/lunch/dinner.
Nothing got achieved. Just the dinner.

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